Malcolm Smith

Trials of a Tourist Malcolm Smith

For most of his adult life the author has spent his holidays touring the world - from Greenland to Easter Island to Madagascar, the more remote the destination the better. He has stayed in luxury accommodation and slept in the open during a thunderstorm. He has watched the Folies Bergère and the Northern Lights. He has been blessed by the Pope, ripped off by taxi drivers, and hassled by touts, police, prostitutes, and baboons. Now he has decided to share with you the quirky experiences which come with the territory. Like being the stooge in a crooked card game. Like going on a hunt with Congo pygmies. Like attending a morgue to identify a travel companion. And in between descriptions of holiday romances, public lavatories or lack thereof, and a hotel overpriced at 50 cents, he details the Plot Against Tourists: the co-ordinated efforts of airlines, hotels, money changers, custom officers, and governments in general to inflict frustration and discomfort while helping themselves to your money - and to warn you that only a fool or a masochist would follow his lead and become a globe trotting tourist.