Oscar Wilde

An Ideal Husband Oscar Wilde

Morning-room at Sir Robert Chiltern's house.[LORD GORING, dressed in the height of fashion, is lounging in an armchair. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN is standingin front of the fireplace. He is evidently in a state of great mental excitement and distress. As the scene progresses hepaces nervously up and down the room.]LORD GORING. My dear Robert, it's a very awkward business, very awkward indeed. You shouldhave told your wife the whole thing. Secrets from other people's wives are a necessary luxury inmodern life. So, at least, I am always told at the club by people who are bald enough to know better. But no man should have a secret from his own wife. She invariably finds it out. Women have awonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Arthur, I couldn't tell my wife. When could I have told her? Not last night. Itwould have made a life-long separation between us, and I would have lost the love of the onewoman in the world I worship, of the only woman who has ever stirred love within me. Last night itwould have been quite impossible. She would have turned from me in horror . . . in horror and incontempt. LORD GORING. Is Lady Chiltern as perfect as all that?SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; my wife is as perfect as all that. LORD GORING. [Taking off his left-hand glove.] What a pity! I beg your pardon, my dear fellow, I didn'tquite mean that. But if what you tell me is true, I should like to have a serious talk about life withLady Chiltern. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. It would be quite useless. LORD GORING. May I try?SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; but nothing could make her alter her views. LORD GORING. Well, at the worst it would simply be a psychological experiment. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. All such experiments are terribly dangerous. LORD GORING. Everything is dangerous, my dear fellow. If it wasn't so, life wouldn't be worthliving. . . . Well, I am bound to say that I think you should have told her years ago.