Charles Dickens

The Holly-Tree Charles Dickens

I have kept one secret in the course of my life. I am a bashful man. Nobody would supposeit, nobody ever does suppose it, nobody ever did suppose it, but I am naturally a bashfulman. This is the secret which I have never breathed until now. I might greatly move the reader by some account of the innumerable places I have not beento, the innumerable people I have not called upon or received, the innumerable socialevasions I have been guilty of, solely because I am by original constitution and character abashful man. But I will leave the reader unmoved, and proceed with the object before me. That object is to give a plain account of my travels and discoveries in the Holly-Tree Inn; inwhich place of good entertainment for man and beast I was once snowed up. It happened in the memorable year when I parted for ever from Angela Leath, whom I wasshortly to have married, on making the discovery that she preferred my bosomfriend. From our school-days I had freely admitted Edwin, in my own mind, to be farsuperior to myself; and, though I was grievously wounded at heart, I felt the preference tobe natural, and tried to forgive them both. It was under these circumstances that I resolvedto go to America-on my way to the Devil. Communicating my discovery neither to Angela nor to Edwin, but resolving to write each ofthem an affecting letter conveying my blessing and forgiveness, which the steam-tender forshore should carry to the post when I myself should be bound for the New World, farbeyond recall, -I say, locking up my grief in my own breast, and consoling myself as I couldwith the prospect of being generous, I quietly left all I held dear, and started on the desolatejourney I have mentioned. The dead winter-time was in full dreariness when I left my chambers for ever, at fiveo'clock in the morning. I had shaved by candle-light, of course, and was miserably cold, andexperienced that general all-pervading sensation of getting up to be hanged which I haveusually found inseparable from untimely rising under such circumstances