Oscar Wilde

Lady Windermere's Fan Oscar Wilde

Morning-room of Lord Windermere's house in Carlton House Terrace. Doors C. and R. Bureauwith books and papers R. Sofa with small tea-table L. Window opening on to terrace L. TableR.[LADY WINDERMERE is at table R., arranging roses in a blue bowl.][Enter PARKER.]PARKER. Is your ladyship at home this afternoon?LADY WINDERMERE. Yes-who has called?PARKER. Lord Darlington, my lady. LADY WINDERMERE. [Hesitates for a moment.] Show him up-and I'm at home to any onewho calls. PARKER. Yes, my lady.[Exit C.]LADY WINDERMERE. It's best for me to see him before to-night. I'm glad he's come.[Enter PARKER C.]PARKER. Lord Darlington, [Enter LORD DARLINGTON C.][Exit PARKER.]LORD DARLINGTON. How do you do, Lady Windermere?LADY WINDERMERE. How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can't shake hands with you. Myhands are all wet with these roses. Aren't they lovely? They came up from Selby thismorning. LORD DARLINGTON. They are quite perfect. [Sees a fan lying on the table.] And what awonderful fan! May I look at it?4LADY WINDERMERE. Do. Pretty, isn't it! It's got my name on it, and everything. I have onlyjust seen it myself. It's my husband's birthday present to me. You know to-day is mybirthday?LORD DARLINGTON. No? Is it really?LADY WINDERMERE. Yes, I'm of age to-day. Quite an important day in my life, isn't it? That iswhy I am giving this party to-night. Do sit down. [Still arranging flowers.]LORD DARLINGTON. [Sitting down.] I wish I had known it was your birthday, LadyWindermere. I would have covered the whole street in front of your house with flowers foryou to walk on. They are made for you.[A short pause.]LADY WINDERMERE. Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the Foreign Office. I amafraid you are going to annoy me again. LORD DARLINGTON. I, Lady Windermere?[Enter PARKER and FOOTMAN C., with tray and tea things.]LADY WINDERMERE. Put it there, Parker. That will do. [Wipes her hands with her pockethandkerchief, goes to tea-table, and sits down.] Won't you come over, Lord Darlington?[Exit PARKER C.]LORD DARLINGTON. [Takes chair and goes across L. C.] I am quite miserable, LadyWindermere. You must tell me what I did. [Sits down at table L.]LADY WINDERMERE. Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole evening. LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that the onlypleasant things to pay are compliments. They're the only things we can pay. LADY WINDERMERE. [Shaking her head.] No, I am talking very seriously. You mustn't laugh, Iam quite serious. I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he ispleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn'tmean. LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, but I did mean them. [Takes tea which she offers him.]LADY WINDERMERE. [Gravely.] I hope not. I should be sorry to have to quarrel with you, LordDarlington. I like you very much, you know that. But I shouldn't like you at all if I thoughtyou were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most other men, and Isometimes think you pretend to be worse