Jane Austen

Lady Susan Jane Austen

LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSONLangford. You were mistaken, my dear Alicia, in supposing me fixed at this place for the rest of thewinter: it grieves me to say how greatly you were mistaken, for I have seldom spent threemonths more agreeably than those which have just flown away. At present, nothing goessmoothly; the females of the family are united against me. You foretold how it would bewhen I first came to Langford, and Mainwaring is so uncommonly pleasing that I was notwithout apprehensions for myself. I remember saying to myself, as I drove to the house, "Ilike this man, pray Heaven no harm come of it!" But I was determined to be discreet, tobear in mind my being only four months a widow, and to be as quiet as possible: and I havebeen so, my dear creature; I have admitted no one's attentions but Mainwaring's. I haveavoided all general flirtation whatever; I have distinguished no creature besides, of all thenumbers resorting hither, except Sir James Martin, on whom I bestowed a little notice, inorder to detach him from Miss Mainwaring; but, if the world could know my motive THEREthey would honour me. I have been called an unkind mother, but it was the sacred impulseof maternal affection, it was the advantage of my daughter that led me on; and if thatdaughter were not the greatest simpleton on earth, I might have been rewarded for myexertions as I ought. Sir James did make proposals to me for Frederica; but Frederica, who was born to be thetorment of my life, chose to set herself so violently against the match that I thought it betterto lay aside the scheme for the present. I have more than once repented that I did notmarry him myself; and were he but one degree less contemptibly weak I certainly should: but I must own myself rather romantic in that respect, and that riches only will not satisfyme. The event of all this is very provoking: Sir James is gone, Maria highly incensed, andMrs. Mainwaring insupportably jealous; so jealous, in short, and so enraged against me, that, in the fury of her temper, I should not be surprized at her appealing to her guardian, ifshe had the liberty of addressing him: but there your husband stands my friend; and thekindest, most amiable action of his life was his throwing her off for ever on her marriage. Keep up his resentment, therefore, I charge you. We are now in a sad state; no house wasever more altered; the whole party are at war, and Mainwaring scarcely dares speak to me. It is time for me to be gone; I have therefore determined on leaving them, and shall spend, Ihope, a comfortable day with you in town within this week. If I am as little in favour withMr. Johnson as ever, you must come to me at 10 Wigmore street; but I hope this may not bethe case, for as Mr. Johnson, with all his faults, is a man to whom that great word"respectable" is always given, and I am known to be so intimate with his wife, his slightingme has an awkward loo