Duncan P Bradshaw

Don't Smell The Flowers! They Want To Steal Your Bones! Duncan P Bradshaw

The sleepy village of Charlton is under assault. Not from crazies, zombies or radioactively enhanced mutants, but from locally grown flowers. These devilish orchids lure people in with their favourite smell, before rendering them unconscious, just so they can pilfer a piece of the victim's skeleton.

As doctors and paramedics are pushed to breaking point, it's down to scantily clad detective, Harry Surge, to root out who's behind this unconventional attack. To nip this in the bud, Harry is going to have to call in old favours, investigate the history of the village, leave no leaf unturned, and commandeer as many different vehicles as he can get away with. Even ones he doesn't know how to spell.

Brace yourself for a peculiar hike through rural England, bring a packed lunch if you get peckish, but whatever you do, DON'T SMELL THE FLOWERS! Cos, ya know, THEY WANT TO STEAL YOUR BONES!
Damn, I'm good. Never thought I'd be able to get the title into the synopsis. Ten points to me, none to you. You've got a mountain to climb now, loser.

Book 3 in the GoreCom Series is a cautionary tale about the folly of smelling flowers without considering what they might want from you in return. The silliness ante is well and truly raised, and the fourth wall broken.