Debra McLain

To Conquer or Die Trying Debra McLain

When I was five years old, I used to dance around the house pretending I was a ballerina. I would twirl and spin without a care in the world. Those moments of joy rarely lasted long, as there was always a boogey man hiding under the bed. My mother taught me to respect my elders, do not talk back, and never question adults' actions. A childhood of mental, physical, and sexual abuse caused a lot of anger and self-hatred. At fifteen years old, I became bulimic and anorexic. Any time I felt that my life was out of control, I turned to my eating disorder. It was always there, promising me that everything would be okay if I just followed the rules. The problem was that the rules kept changing and I lost all control. Writing poetry saved me from falling into the deep pits of depression... This is my journey.