Hila Haelyon

Adopted Girl: You're a Woman Now Hila Haelyon

Fifteen Israeli women adopted as infants share their narratives, commencing from earliest childhood and up to the point when they themselves become mothers. Their life stories confront social, psychological and philosophical approaches to defining concepts such as 'belongingness', 'blood relations', 'choice', 'abandonment', and 'shame'. Moving through the life cycle model, the reader is brought to a reexamination of social and legal dilemmas: how can the adopted woman's right to receive information about her source family be ensured while simultaneously maintaining the right to privacy of a biological mother who refuses to meet the daughter she gave up for adoption? Should the adopted woman be entitled to review the complete adoption file, which in essence enables her to track her biological mother of her own accord without need of formal intervention? Both these questions become critical in more complex situations when medical or genetic information might be required that is not in the adoption file, or when the biological father's details are unknown. In both cases, the biological mother is the only source of possible assistance. On the other hand, if the biological mother refuses to meet her daughter, the daughter might be prevented her basic right to knowledge of a medical/genetic nature, or to locate her biological father. Milestones along the adopted woman's life are traced: the author explores experiences of inclusiveness and rejection at earliest infanthood, the adolescent's need for authentic information, and the process of accessing and opening the adoption file. The author delves into the comparative experience of familiarization with the biological family while remaining loyal to the adoptive family, and addresses perceptions of motherhood when these adopted women become mothers. Descriptions provided by the women are balanced against theories in current research and professional literature on adoption.