Jeff Hylton

Hahrper & the Thing: a Funny Dirty Horror Novel Jeff Hylton

Steven Isaac Hahrper has devoted his life to the absurdly romantic pursuit of women he barely knows. What Hahrper doesn't know, is that he is haunted by a terrible monster...an ancient Thing which feeds on Hahrper's senseless, fathomless lust. When Hahrper tires of hollow affairsand meets a woman with whom he could share true lovethe Thing refuses to let Hahrper go. True love contains no nourishment for the Thing. And It will not lose Its fantastic meal-ticket Hahrper. And, oh, what high jinks ensue... Terrifying visions. Devastatingly erotic visions. A full-length pornographic, yet moralistic Dr. Seuss-style story. Trips to fully-realized personal hells for Hahrper and all his friends. More naked women than even Hahrper could shake a stick at. And, of course, a climactic battle fought atop a fifteen hundred foot replica of Hahrper's own medium-sized pink penis. All this pulse-pounding, boob-filled action is accompanied by such timeless Steve Hahrper-penned songs as: "Scrumdillyicious Poontang", "Magnet Face", "Why There Must Be Titty-bars In Heaven:", "On The Slopes Of Sarah", and "All Roads Lead To My Dick"...to name a few. A modern fable about the triumph of true love...and the boundless idiocy of the human male.