Joseph Conrad

The Mirror of the Sea Joseph Conrad

Some commanders of ships take their Departure from the home coast sadly, in a spirit ofgrief and discontent. They have a wife, children perhaps, some affection at any rate, orperhaps only some pet vice, that must be left behind for a year or more. I remember onlyone man who walked his deck with a springy step, and gave the first course of the passagein an elated voice. But he, as I learned afterwards, was leaving nothing behind him, excepta welter of debts and threats of legal proceedings. On the other hand, I have known many captains who, directly their ship had left the narrowwaters of the Channel, would disappear from the sight of their ship's company altogetherfor some three days or more. They would take a long dive, as it were, into their state-room, only to emerge a few days afterwards with a more or less serene brow. Those were themen easy to get on with. Besides, such a complete retirement seemed to imply asatisfactory amount of trust in their officers, and to be trusted displeases no seamanworthy of the name. On my first voyage as chief mate with good Captain MacW- I remember that I felt quiteflattered, and went blithely about my duties, myself a commander for all practicalpurposes. Still, whatever the greatness of my illusion, the fact remained that the realcommander was there, backing up my self-confidence, though invisible to my eyes behind amaple-wood veneered cabin-door with a white china handle. That is the time, after your Departure is taken, when the spirit of your commandercommunes with you in a muffled voice, as if from the sanctum sanctorum of a temple;because, call her a temple or a "hell afloat"-as some ships have been called-the captain'sstate-room is surely the august place in every vessel. The good MacW- would not even come out to his meals, and fed solitarily in his holy ofholies from a tray covered with a white napkin. Our steward used to bend an ironic glanceat the perfectly empty plates he was bringing out from there. This grief for his home, whichovercomes so many married seamen, did not deprive Captain MacW- of his legitimateappetite. In fact, the steward would almost invariably come up to me, sitting in thecaptain's chair at the head of the table, to say in a grave murmur, "The captain asks for onemore slice of meat and two potatoes." We, his officers, could hear him moving about in hisberth, or lightly snoring, or fetching deep sighs, or splashing and blowing in his bath-room;and we made our reports to him through the keyhole, as it were. It was the crowningachievement of his amiable character that the answers we got were given in a quite mildand friendly tone. Some commanders in their periods of seclusion are constantly grumpy, and seem to resent the mere sound of your voice as an injury and an insul